Wonderings in thought and experience.
27 Jul 09

Beauty through the eyes of a predator…

This past saturday I was charged with the unpleasant task of working a close shift three short hours after finishing an opening shift. Typically that would lead to a nice close wrist shave, or a few rounds of asprin margaritas, but instead I’m actually in somewhat high spirits… I got a girls number, accompanied by an idea of the best time to call… Now I’ve been out of the game for almost half a decade, but I’m not convinced thats why I’m a bit lost. Can anyone tell me how to react to a cute 20-something single mother making a pass? Maybe its a good first step towards getting back on the active roster, or maybe something interesting may spring up here… Feel the Fear. And Do it Anyway.

27 Feb 09

Hiatus

Taking a prolonged break so as to start a paper journal… or if you prefer to emasculate me, a diary. Never really saw the difference. At any rate, consider it a lent thing.

26 Feb 09

Delusional

Been a while, figured I’d chime in and let my devotees know that all has been well. Your supreme leader wills that you may relax, efforts are being made, and with great sucess, to maintain your safety and privacy.

17 Feb 09

Familiar

Now, I’m not going to say I’m proud of the fact, but I’ve blown off and avoided a lot of people in the past. So I’ve gotten pretty good at it, and due to the nature of certain circumstances I’ve honed my Bull Shit game to a fine point. In technical terms the goal of Bull Shit is to lead someone to accept some form of logical fallacy, usually “Ad Homonim” (appeal to emotion), “Ignoratio Elenci” (missing the point), or defective induction. The first two are fairly straight forward, the third could probably stand to be explained. Defective induction requires the “deceiver” to produce a series of prepositions that APPEAR to lead necessarily to the chosen conclusion. This is where it gets tricky, because you are trying to disguise an inductively weak argument as a deductively valid argument, and deduction has stricter criteria for validity, and it is often more apparent when this validity is missing. For the sake of clarity, I feel an example is necessary. I most frequently employ deffective induction when I am trying to cover up prolonged financial irresponsibility. If I have been spending excess money on trivial things, and I am questioned about it, I would likely start by thinking of the most recent thing that I needed that I spent a large sum of money on. {A. I spent $130 on train tickets and metro cards last week.} From there, I would think of a few comparably inexpensive things I buy regularly. {B. I spend about $12 daily on cigarettes and drinks at school.} From there the person being mislead comes to a conclusion that looks something like this {C. Blaze spent over $200 on regular expenses last week; ergo Blaze spends over $200 on regular expenses weekly.} The argument appears deductively valid, however I did not mention that when I spent $130 on train tickets and metro cards, I was buying 2 weeks worth of tickets and a month worth of metro. When this information is introduced, the argument reveals itself to be inductively weak. Similarly one may attempt to explain their near total lack of availability and tendency to blow off friends over the past 6 months or so as a result of their attempts to kindle and nurture a romantic relationship. This seems like a valid argument, and even aims to vilify anyone who questions or complains about this lack of availability. But what happens when you highlight that said unavailable person has only been pursuing said significant other for at most 2 months.

Sound familiar?

13 Feb 09

07 Feb 09
Do not concern yourself with hunting monsters, lest you become a monster yourself; and if you stare into the Abyss, the Abyss stares also into you.
— Friedrich Nieschtze
07 Feb 09

Devoid

It has dawned on me that to some degree, I am wishing ill upon someone I propose to care about. I’m not certain if that frightens me more, or the fact that that realization has had no effect on my reasoning. I suppose it would be a similar situation, if handled properly could lead to a Kierkegaardian leap to the ethical way.

Perhaps my thinking like this could be related to my “tragic romantic (curteosy of the enniagram)” tendency to ruin those things I find beauty and inspiration in.

05 Feb 09
My thoughts have returned to earth.
— Soren Kierkegaard
02 Feb 09

All calm on the western front

And yet I still sense impending doom. The ground is still frozen, and snow is predicted for the next two days. Still there is a deep forboding warmth about. And as it shatters the frost adorning the looming branches, it too ignites a flame and set into motion the internal machinations of a danger that had long laid dormant. The alarm is blaring, get your masks on, something is in the air.

27 Jan 09
Comic managerie.

Comic managerie.